Interview with Alain Herriott - 23 Jan 2019
Are you an Empath?
Are you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated from constantly being affected by people around you?
Are you looking for ways to restore inner peace and power without needing to build auric shields or constantly avoid toxic people?
If the above describes you and your life situation, then please do listen to this interview by Alain Herriott (Founder of The Wonder Method and author of Energy Healing and the Art of Awakening through Wonder), where you will learn:
- the definition and focus of being an Empath and how you can change that focus
- points to note on seeking permission to send healing to others
- specific limiting beliefs on Empaths that you can start unwinding for yourself
- how everything you do is simply a personal choice
Do keep watching till the end of the video where Alain guides Bingz (me!) through a short unwinding using The Wonder Method.
I am so excited to finally finish transcribing Alain Herriot's precious insights from this interview video we did last week!
I have edited the transcript slightly for better flow.
Enjoy the video and the notes here!
Transcript:
Bingz:
The purpose of this interview is to find out more about The Wonder Method's approach to helping Empaths feel more grounded, and also how they can use their gifts of sensitivity more efficiently / productively, I guess to make it more possible to have a joyous life. Because in my experience, I've met many Empaths and they seem to think it's a curse rather than a gift, and they have to manage it on a daily basis like what some of my clients do. It seems to be a common practice to build things like auric shields, to practise letting go, so they don't feel drained on a daily basis.
So let's go to the questions I've written down :
(1:22) So my first question is: I think many Empaths feel that their ability to be more sensitive to others' energies is a weakness that needs to be managed more than a gift. What is your view on this? How can one use The Wonder Method to manage this ability?
Alain:
An Empath tends to feel what’s around them within themselves, partly that’s because their focus is outside, though not necessarily consciously. They are experiencing their environment versus themselves. And when you focus on the environment, your attention is more out there, than in here.
Now, most people live it that way, and a lot of people don’t feel anything, whereas the Empath does. They feel kind of an ambience of the energy around them. When someone’s upset they feel the upset and it’s like a wave hitting them and it’s kind of overpowering. That said, if they are aware of their own internal vibration, some would call it their own stuff, as a focus versus the outside, then it’s easier to manage because you won’t be overwhelmed by what’s outside you.
That takes practice, and The Wonder Method’s purpose is to unwind what appears to be problematic so we would process our view that these outside energies knock us over and influence us strongly. As we did that we would unwind that belief system (if you will) that we have to be focused out there and in so doing we would start to find ourselves within it and as we find ourselves within it then we become the dominant vibration.
And sure if somebody was riding on a bike and falls over or something you feel badly for them, we’re gonna help them but we don’t take on the vibe because we’re aware of us as the dominant vibrations versus all these other things that are influencing us as the dominant vibrations.
Did that clarify for you? Are there more questions?
Bingz:
Yes. That can sound quite scary, to have the courage to really tune into yourself as opposed to feeling the outside world, because you’re so used to it.
Alain:
That’s right. But if they consider it a weakness, if they consider their lives difficult to live because they are influenced by all these outside feelings and then it doesn’t take a lot of courage. In fact, it becomes a sanctuary, because as you unwind the need to reach or not even necessarily need, it’s more intrinsic, it’s just there, it seems like it. Once you start being aware of your own stuff, if you’re truly processing, if you’re unwinding what’s in the way of your world and the balance within it you find there’s quiet here, and there’s balance throughout the body, and because there’s balance and quiet there, you’re happy.
Now, there’s lots of models that do that, within The Wonder Method we use Feeling. Some people use shields, but then you’re always maintaining the shield, and if it’s a really bad day you’re making that shield thicker and stronger and some days it works, and some days it doesn’t. And then you’re scrambling to find out what to do and then you don’t want to go outside because of what you might encounter and there’s just this whole tumbling going on about how to live. Again, if you go into feeling, and unwind the fears, and they are really not that bad. The fear that they are going to be terrible is really the worst part of it. The good news is as they unwind, they actually feel better. And the willingness to sense, versus interpreting the sensations, is what sets us free. Because the sensations themselves don’t have all this mind attachment to them. They are not named, they are not solid to the nth degree. They are just you and the moment, and that creates centredness and balance.
Bingz:
Yes it feels like this need to get intuitive information is more interesting, because of this tendency to want to make sense of the overwhelm from the outside world . So how do we get into the model of just feeling the sensations without interpreting them?
Alain:
Well there’s a lot of ways to get into just feeling but really it’s the unwinding that makes you believe you already can. And if you want to be intuitive you could be, but you can filter it. Because within The Wonder Method we are feeling us about 90+ percent, and then you just let in, oh this tiny little amount, and we can grade that, gradations in other words. So if you’re 90% you, this is a light touch from outside, and if you need any be you can be 99.999% you, and only let in that 0.001%. And so, what you sense from outside you is very manageable and yet you still can sense if you need to. And that's done, you learn how to do that by experimentation somewhat, but most people are always reaching, reaching outwards - “I need to know what's outside”. No, no, no, you're just putting out an energy, it'll come to you. Why do you think it bothers you to begin with? Because it's broadcasting. And you believe you need to take it on, or interpret it or use it in some way. You don't, you don't have to. You've chosen to, or maybe you feel like it's chosen you to, but it's still a choice, and that choice is an opportunity to invite change, if you want to.
If you like the drama, because that's what you're living, right? You're living this drama of “oh my god this is overwhelming”. It gives you a lot to talk with friends, how terrible it is and all this. It's a thing you build your life around, it's become your belief system, and that's as such your world. Changing that will change how you talk to others. You will become more average in a way, but at the same time you'll be happier, because you won't be crushed by those experiences. And when you need to have information, you can choose to let it in, but it’ll be a choice, because you’ll actually turn the dial on a little bit, to allow it in. And when you don’t need it you just have the dial focused within you instead of out there. Of course you’re still interacting with others, and it’ll take some practice because you have to break an old habit.
Does that clarify or does that bring up other questions?
(10:13)
Bingz:
So if one is new to The Wonder Method and would like to change their view of how they work as Empaths, do they unwind the belief system first?
Alain:
You have two choices. Within The Wonder Method we start with what’s called the Breath With Wonder. That presents a flow within you. It’s just what happens as you pay attention to that. So you could use that to begin the process of understanding what’s you and what’s not you, because it would be a dominant vibration so to speak. So when you do the breath with wonder do you feel you more than you do what’s around you? Initially? So that isolates you to some degree, but it doesn’t stop you from interacting, it just shows you more as you in as sense it puts you within your own field instead of influenced by the other field. If you choose to include someone else in your awareness, then you have a link. But if your focus is on the internal opening as the dominant feature, what you experience from others is minimal, just tiny. So that’s one way. I would call that the Band-Aid approach. I don’t have anything better yet so I will use this.
Independent of that is the processing where we feel our feelings, unwinding until balance is the result. And we have what we call four steps but really there’s two steps. There’s the unwinding what’s upsetting, and unwinding the positive as well, that which you want. Because much of what we want, we fear that we can’t have it. So in both cases it’s still an unwinding, but eventually we get to go “Cool, man!” Because eventually you’ll come into balance. It takes, you know, some time, and some effort. But if it’s applied regularly, usually within a few weeks, most people can experience themselves as the dominant vibration so to speak. And they can choose to tune into others or not, as they prefer.
(12:55)
Bingz:
Thank you. Okay let’s see the other questions, about asking for permission. Some Empaths feel so deeply and strongly they may feel called to do healing on other people hurting. So is it alright to offer healing without conscious permission?
Alain:
In my opinion, yes. That said, why do you feel compelled to do healing work? It's what I would ask them, if they feel that it's uh it's because they feel so deeply that they should - well that's a personal choice. And if they said, “I just, I can't do otherwise”, that too is a personal choice. They may believe that it's not, but it still is. And that's because again, history. Your beliefs say “if I don't help this person I'm going to feel worse than if I do help this person’. But then it comes in fear that if I don't have their permission can I do it?
Well within The Wonder Method, we don't send, we don't press, we don't push. We don't try to change the individual. We open. Now the Empath is going to say “oh! You're gonna open and let that in! “ But if you remember from the earlier statement, we're establishing us as a dominant vibration of us, in other words, experiencing our being. When we include another person to do healing work, we're letting in one-tenth or less of the original vibe. We're not asking them to change, we're allowing their upset to encounter balance and unwind at its rate. So we're not putting anything on the client or the person we're passing that's upset. We're allowing them the opportunity to reestablish balance.
Does that answer the question? Does it feel complete or does it feel like there's more there?
Bingz:
So it's actually a very gentle way of doing healing in a way that the recipient can allow?
Alain:
So, if you think of almost everybody as broadcasting and the broadcast hits you. They're putting out the vibe. Why not let it in, while staying aware of your own self and allow it to change in a sense we're allowing out to change so that we feel balanced. We may notice something, and at this point the client has an opportunity to change as well. They don't have to change, they can stay in their anger. But the interesting thing is as they experience someone else demonstrating balance they will naturally gravitate towards balance. So you're not even working on them in isolation, so to speak, in the sense of changing them. You're working on your response to the experience, and they happen to gain benefit as well as you.
Bingz:
So it's like unwinding your own reaction to anything or anyone that bothers you?
Alain:
That's right. And it can be as simple as “oh I knocked a cup over” to gosh, war somewhere. Whatever is seemingly influencing you, or that you prefer to affect, or at least affect your response, and as such begin to change the reality around you. Because reality begins to get very flexible, or malleable. The whole fabric of reality has an opportunity to shift. It doesn't have to stay as it appears to be. That's a mindset. The mindset holds us stationary. The opening of body and mind integration begins to set us free. And as we let more and more things in, more and more the outside world tends to balance. It's very quite amazing how it works, how well it works. And the only times I find it slow is when I have a belief that is at odds with me. Or I encounter one at odds with me in the world and I resist versus opening to it. Remember I'm only opening to that little tenth, maybe a hundredth of it, and I allow it to unfold gradually. What's so amazing is even though you're just letting in a little bit it changes very rapidly. Because most things that are in resistance aren't used to being allowed. They're mostly resistant and so they push harder. So that's the problem with shields, you know, you put up a shield and the person doesn't recognise that it's a shield out there but they feel the resistance so they push harder. And so you got to build a bigger shield, you know, you see where I'm going with this? So it becomes an argument, it's not even verbal, so why not just open?
Why not just open going out and interacting with others, if you fear that's what you open to start with before you ever go out and interact with others. So that you begin to balance yourself, and then if you happen to find something seemingly too strong outside to ignore, that's the next opportunity to open more deeply and change more. And healing is just an obligation.
(19:16)
Bingz:
So I think you've answered the other questions as well, regarding the shield, and the image of being like a sponge absorbing.. So some Empaths feel like they're sponges, absorbing negativity from others. So there are people wanting to intentionally dump energies onto them…
Alain:
Lots of fear again. It's a fear. What you fear, generally speaking, seems to show up in your world. “Oh no! There's that again!” But they're showing up to show you where you're holding, in my opinion. So you process: “oh my gosh! I appear to be like a sponge”, “oh my gosh! People appear to be dumping stuff on me.” I say “appear” because the person next to me doesn’t seem to have any problem whatsoever. So, what’s the difference? I’m an Empath, they’re not. What does that mean? They have, some people would say, a natural shield, versus no shield. But again, I would say it’s more that they’re not sensitive and you know passive, yes. So the Empath has to deal with their sensitivity. One of the ways to change that, and to no longer be a sponge, is to process how it makes them feel they appear to be a sponge. And then wonder what it might be about feeling great no matter who’s around, and realizing that they’re whole and complete within themselves. That would be the positive statement. We would process the positive statement, because likely there’s doubt that it can occur at least in the beginning. And it’s just showing another layer of resistance or fear that’s there. “How can that be? All my friends..”, see the story? They build a world and they can share with those people in the story. Well their friends changed as the story changes probably. Mostly because their friends are getting the reaction they expect. They’ll make different friends and then those friends can stay around, but the reaction will be different. They will have a different relationship with the people around them period, because they also are different, and they react differently to certain situations in a positive way. That’s the beauty of it all.
And so you begin to learn to just be you. And if within that you’re a healer, or a searcher on the path, then The Wonder Method will help to balance you and help to balance your clients. If you’re just walking around and want all that stuff to stop, let me process for you, and surprisingly in short order for most people it stops quickly. Many people will feel like something’s missing, and they’ll search, and they’ll find what they wanted was that drama being pressed on by others, but as they continue to process that will gradually drop away and they’ll find they are enough. They are whole within themselves, balanced. And their outlook around the world, about the world in general will change because of that. And they will redefine themselves, that’s the nature of change.
Bingz:
Thank you.
Alain:
Aha, you’re welcome. Any other questions that, that seem to come to the front?
(23:13)
Bingz:
Just this relationship with drama? If we are not being overwhelmed by the outside world, then how, how does life become more interesting to us?
Alain:
Oh well. Number one: say you’re an artist. You choose to let the feelings come in for your art. You don’t choose to let them in when you’re not doing your art. Say you’re a poet. You let the feelings happen when you’re writing your poetry. And you do it from a place of balance and openness, so that your creativity is on display. You have access instead of writer’s block. Same with the artist. You let in, you join the dance of the artist and the artist in you, and you’re able to express yourself so much more cleanly and effectively because of it. Because you’re not at odds with your environment. So, you become even more complete, and the people you meet are even more whole because of it. It’s nice, very surprising but it does happen consistently when you’re willing to step into it. Are you willing to step into you, and if that’s frightening that’s a great entry point because I promise you you’re worth it.
It’s great stuff though, to find YOU.
Well, it’s you know, many people are not aware of themselves, and don’t feel necessarily comfortable within. But the surprising thing is, you can be amazingly comfortable within, and amazingly comfortable with others. Simply by experiencing yourself.
(25:22)
If you feel yourself right now, ever so gently, as if it was, erm, well let’s just put it this way: If you approach the feelings within you at the rate that made you feel absolutely comfortable. Go ahead and do it, and experience what occurs. So light, so kindly. Yeah! And you can just keep going till you get that shift sensation of it, you know, an expansion, or a change, from The Wonder Method. And there’s where you’re opening. And you feel open-ended.
Why do we choose to leave this place? Because we’re focused out here and we believe that this needs to be our major focus, independent of this focus (points to self). It’s not true, it’s just a habit. So if you let yourself experience ever so lightly, almost like an afterthought, that little bit of you inside. Experience what happens? Very, very light. Don’t strive for it, because that creates pressure. Striving is in the attitude of Mine. There is you.
Now you can listen to me while experiencing that, yeah? You can hear just fine. Practising speaking from here takes more practice. Just because the act of verbalization is a mental process and requires certain muscles to be tight, certain muscles to be loose, to activate the voice box. And we learn a certain way because we’re surrounded by people that demonstrate that that’s how you speak. It’s not how you have to speak. You’re allowed to feel how you feel inside. In fact, some of the most amazing people you meet will do this naturally. It’ll just feel like they’re talking just to you, and they’re talking that way to everybody. So it touches you in this particular way, because they’re very whole, and they allow you to experience wholeness in the process.
How does that feel, Bingz?
Bingz:
Good! Quiet.
Alain:
Exactly. It’s a sanctuary. But it’s not a cage, nor a jail.
Bingz:
Thank you so much!
Alain:
You’re very welcome!